Noticing.Twenty-Five

  1. She cries at midnight. My feet are on the floor before I’m actually awake despite not having to go to her in the middle of the night for months. I wonder if that training ever fades.
  2. I mistake the sound of summer breeze in leaves for rain several times as I lay in bed. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve heard that sound outside my window.
  3. “I’m grieved over the desert my fiction world has become, how dark its skies. I feel like part of me is broken or paralyzed–numb but visible, a reminder of when I was whole and well and took free movement for granted. And I want it back.” — prayer journal excerpt
  4. Doula-ing
  5. Facebook memories tells me that on this day 6 years ago I was in Manhattan at a blogger conference; 5 years ago I was recovering from hip surgery but trying to write anyway; 4 years ago I was redesigning my writer’s website; 2 years ago I was admiring my husband’s care for our newborn. All me, all not me. Dissociative nostalgia.
  6. 35% whipping cream
  7. I run out of patience at 11am. I run out of spoons at 1pm.

List truncated for drama. Which is its own sort of drama, I suppose.

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