Noticing.Thirty-Four

  1. Listening to Barenaked Ladies in the kitchen, I realize I understand the songs completely differently now that I live in Canada. I actually know what a hydro field is and have an opinion about Swiss Chalet. A reminder that understanding is about where you’re standing.
  2. Guilt for missing two posts. But the moments that displaced them were more edifying than whatever navel-gazing prose I would’ve written. Counting it as gain.
  3. It shouldn’t be this hard to find a toy kitchen that fits in our house.
  4. I have a tendency to think of the rest of God as a natural rest–the kind where I have no duties, no needs, no stress–but that’s not it. The rest of God is carryable, independent of circumstances. It’s a rest of the soul┬ádesigned to move with me through busyness. It’s a way of living, not a break from life. He won’t do my dishes for me, but he’ll make it less onerous to do them myself.
  5. There’s a lazy, laid-back quality to our morning. We’re doing the same thing we’ve done three other days this week, but there’s a peace to it today. We glide along, just enjoying each other’s company.
  6. Accepting that while I may want things in neatly-organized boxes, I live most fully in the inbetween.
  7. Is it weird to feel both pretentiously prideful and humbly incompetent at the same time?
  8. She plays, chats, and sucks her thumb for over two hours, but doesn’t sleep. No nap means no party–she’s crashing an hour before it even starts. I’m mildly relieved–it’s a children’s party, after all–but also disappointed; my need for adult interaction is being stymied by watching the monitor until I’m certain she’s out. I have got to stop telling her in the morning about exciting things that won’t happen until evening.
  9. Thinking about the intersection of routine and freedom, the Venn diagram of what I crave and what I fear–and why.
  10. 24 sleeps.

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